This is an excerpt of Fight the New Drug‘s article below with a
link to continue reading the rest of their article on their site.
One of the biggest lies society has sold is that watching porn is totally normal and harmless.
Lately, it seems we are coming across more and more articles online that are trying to normalize pornography and promote the massively uninformed myth that most people “just can’t help them self.” They tell partners that they just need to accept that their significant other watches it and that’s not a big deal. Stereotypically, with all the movies and TV shows comically showing guys watching porn and their partners being fine with it, it’s easy to see why society believes this one.
We came across an article on a site called Total Sorority Move that represents everything that’s totally messed-up with our generation’s understanding of porn. The article is written by a 20-something who titles the article, Should You Let Your Boyfriend Watch Porn? It starts by telling girls that their boyfriend most definitely watches porn, and if he says different, he’s lying. It then goes on to say that boyfriends watching porn is completely normal and that girls should consider joining in. Via the article:
“Upon sneakily asking my friends about porn, more than half of them said they not only watch porn, but would–if they hadn’t already–watch it with their boyfriends. Still think it’s super weird and that I’m most likely a crazed sex-addict? Sit back while your man watches two people do the dirty and let me tell you why it isn’t so bad.”
The article lists 10 reasons why girls should allow their boyfriends to watch porn (but the same can be applied any which way in any type of relationship). With each point spreading more misinformation than the next, we have decided to go hit-for-hit with each point, shutting it down with research and reason. These are 10 reasons why your partner, girlfriend or boyfriend, shouldn’t watch porn:
1. He’s Not Cheating
Wouldn’t you rather he watch it than partake in it? You look at celebrities. You look at other guys. Go take a Xanax and chill because he’s not doing anything wrong.
FTND: Having a porn habit usually means having dishonesty and secrecy in a relationship, one of the many reasons it is so poisonous to relationships.
A partner lying to you is not healthy, and when it comes to watching other naked people having sex, it’s a pretty big deal. How is someone desiring other person’s body and sharing their sexuality with airbrushed bodies instead of you as a partner not considered as a form of cheating? If you wouldn’t be cool with your partner getting aroused by nudes their friend sent, why would it be okay for them to specifically seek out naked strangers having sex on screen for their arousal?
2. He Knows It’s Fake
Any mentally stable guy knows that porn is fictional. I don’t know about you, but I would rather him watch another girl do some of these things than do them myself.
FTND: Not exactly. The images that the brain is seeing does not necessarily distinguish between real and fantasy, all the brain knows is it’s seeing highly arousing images and it wants to see more of it, and increasingly more explicit material to get the same thrill.
Porn creates hugely unrealistic expectations in relationships because the consumer naturally starts to want to act those things out in real life. In one of the most comprehensive studies on porn consumption ever conducted, researchers found that after being exposed to just softcore sexual material, both men and women were significantly less happy with their partner’s looks, sexual performance, and willingness to try new sex acts. Many partners don’t watch porn thinking it’s unrealistic, they watch porn wishing their S.O. would do the same stuff because that’s what “hot sex” looks like in the porn world. Not cool.
3. He’s Going To Do It Anyway
He won’t stop. Once he hits puberty, he can no longer avoid the female form. Accept it or accept the fact that he’ll lie to your face if you ask him about it.
FTND: Despite what this writer suggests, men and women aren’t driveling neanderthals who will go to any lengths to satisfy every sexual urge.
There is nothing natural about the very produced and synthetic product of porn, and we are all much healthier without it. Guys don’t have to watch porn, girls don’t have to watch porn, and they certainly don’t have to cheat on their partner and then lie about it. But if they struggle—which millions of people do—there’s help.
To continue reading the remaining 7 reasons, click here.
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What if you discovered your spouse has been viewing porn?
Click here to watch a leading Certified Sexual Addictions Specialist, Dr Mike Systma.
Porn is stealing our brains, our hearts and our world.
- Every second 28,258 users are watching pornography on the internet
- Every second $3,075.64 is being spent on pornography on the internet
- Every second 372 people are typing the word “adult” into search engines
credit: https://www.webroot.com/us/en/home/resources/tips/digital-family-life/internet-pornography-by-the-numbers
If you don’t think there is any harm to watching porn then it should not be hard to stop watching it…right?
If you find you’re struggling and would like professional help and live in Atlanta, we have a great resource right here in our backyard with intimatemarriage.org or online with Bravehearts.
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