Conflict Resolution Checklist

Face each other and eliminate distractions.
Pray together before beginning the conversation.
Put your spouse first by listening more than speaking. Be emotionally safe.
- Listen with your ears, mind and heart.
- Stay engaged and connected. Be patient. Don’t shut down or be passive. Don’t withdraw or hurry to end the conversation.
- Don’t interrupt, bicker, or respond with contempt, sarcasm, humor, anger or defensiveness.
- Don’t criticize your spouse’s feelings.
- Give your spouse the benefit of the doubt – you can’t accurately judge another person’s heart.
- Focus on making your spouse feel honored, valued and understood. This is more important than solving the problem you are discussing.
Ask questions that require descriptive answers. Clarify with questions and reflective statements.
Don’t use sweeping generalizations like “You always…” or “You never…”
Empathize – try to see the situation through your spouse’s eyes. Remember that whatever your spouse says makes perfect sense to him or her.