Friday Feature – Jacqui & Jeff Jackson
Jacqui & Jeff Jackson are a power couple who we met through our first Thrive group experience. This sweet young couple was on the verge of adopting a sweet baby boy but the odds did not look good. With faith we watched this couple claim their baby boy by getting on plane before they even had final approval. Jacqui knew in her heart this little baby was being blessed with a home…their home.
What we mean by power couple is this sweet family of 1 little girl and adopting a baby boy has grown to 4 children now. Obviously, a very busy season for them so you wouldn’t expect to hear the news that they started a ministry! A ministry called Ignite Hope. Their mission is to equip and empower families and organizations standing on the frontline of the War targeting the Modern Orphan.
For more information go to IgniteHope.online
Please welcome Jacqui & Jeff!
How did you meet your husband?
We met at church – he was friends with my sister.
How did your husband propose?
He asked my parents and sister for my hand 6 months after we started courting, but I had told him we had to be together a whole year before we took that step, so that he saw me in all my seasons.
How long have you been married?
Just over 7 years.
Did you go through the Thrive curriculum? If so, describe your experience.
Yes – it was amazing. That group taught us the importance of totally authentic community and those sweet friends literally prayed our oldest son home.
What was one thing that surprised you after you were married?
How all the planning, counseling, prayer and preparation premaritally doesn’t really prepare you for the reality of being married day in an day out – wouldn’t ever get married without it – but there was so much we didn’t know!
What are you both really excited about?
SEX – we chose to maintain purity in our relationship and so grateful to God that He has blessed that part of our relationship because of our obedience.
What’s one thing you do for your husband everyday?
I tell him how much I love him.
What are your thoughts about counseling?
There are two kinds of people – people who are in counseling, and people who need to be. Do you and your spouse go? Yes – especially during transitions etc., but also for check ins.
What’s one piece of advice you would share with someone before getting married?
How important your eternal mindset is – more than just knowing who God is – being equally yoked is literally critical.
Name a couple who inspires you?
Y’all do! (thanks jacqui!) my parents. and any couple who has been broken and has made it through to the other side!
Are you becoming the wife you hoped you’d be? Why or why not?
Yes – but it’s a slow process.
What was the happiest period of your marriage and what are the reasons you think so?
Honeymoon – or our first extended vacation together since then earlier this year – a solid amount of time to just focus on each other.
In your perception, are there any rooms of his life that you believe are off limits to you?
Not one – and not for me either. Completely open and transparent – which isn’t the easiest thing – because life is hard so you walk through the mess – but you walk together.
Can you name the one or two aspects of his life that make warmth in your relationship more difficult?
Kid’s needs and lack of sleep.
What do you see in the character of Christ that you most wish were in you as well?
Contentment and peace.
Can you honestly say, “I love you my husband as is, without requiring anything to change?” Do you ever waver on that?
I say it and mean it as a choice – but daily I waiver on pretty much everything depending on how the family is doing and how much sleep I got – therein lies the theme.
How would you describe the word, “love?”
My Husband 🙂
Would you say that you love each other more now than earlier in our marriage?
Yes absolutely – but the in love part is ebb and flow. After a dramatic / traumatic C-section where we almost lost our youngest child, it wasn’t unicorns and rainbows, but it was a dig deep and fight for our family. In the middle of a deserted beach in Jamaica – very in love….but every day we love each other more because we’ve gotten through more together, watched each other Grow in God more, and that is beautiful.
Do you see him growing more godly as the years go on? How are you measuring that?
Yes – in his prayer life especially and his ability to listen to and hear God and immediately respond.
Does it bother you that he’s growing older? If so, in what ways?
Wow – I never thought of it – probably because if he is so am I!
Has God put his finger on some aspect of our marriage that needs attention?
Absolutely, 100% dating each other has fallen off the wagon with four kids and running a ministry together. What is it and what do you believe he wants from you both? To reprioritize – his super late schedule and both of us working flat out on the calling He has placed on us – which is needed and important things, have really superceded the time we need to invest in our marriage. Only 3 dates this year, one being a 47 hour window during which our youngest daughter had surgery and we ate in an inexpensive hospital cafeteria in exhausted silence and only stopped chewing, worrying and praying long enough to ask, “Since we are alone does this count as a date?” – it really doesn’t – but we counted it anyways! Good grief!
What worries you most about life?
The trajectory of our children’s lives….it will wake me up at 2 am and have me sobbing and praying and begging for them on my knees. This is more usual than I could have ever expected before I was a momma.
Is there something in your life you have never had the courage to tell him?
No – but sharing all the hard and ugly stuff was so very hard. But I’m so glad we did it – and we did it before we were married – praise the Lord. Now as God reveals stuff to us, we still have new stuff to share but after almost a decade of sharing the “big hairy warts” it really does get easier, if not always fun.
Do we work together spiritually to your satisfaction? What could improve that?
Yes – that is an area that was a strength and God has grown. What could improve that? Just keep praying together, digging into the Word, and talking.
Do you feel that there is something unfulfilled in your life—something God wants you both to do? What is it?
To grow the ministry He has given us – but it’s so overwhelming with a big family that we are just leaning on Him to grow it and just bless our obedience, however many missteps we take.
How happy are you with our praying as a couple? Is there something to be done to make things better?
We run a prayer ministry – so you’d think we’d be rockstars – but with our insane schedule and not going to sleep at the same time (he’s routinely at work past 2 am) we do not pray strategically together as much as we should. We always pray in the morning, at meals, with the kids – but we need to regain our schedule and reclaim the marriage part of our life – and praying for REAL together is part of that. Is there something to be done to make things better? Yes – ask our people to pray for margin, and provision as we try to make some BIG CHANGES!
Has your husband helped you become more mature spiritually? In what ways?
Yes – he hears God and jumps all in – I hear the same thing and waiver, shake and try to talk God out of it. I’m such a delight.
Do you ever question if you are a believer at all? What causes you the most doubt?
Yes, but not really. Whenever I hear the verses saying that some will reach heaven and God will say “But I never knew you.” and the people say, “but I knew you.” that is terrifying. That head knowledge vs heart knowledge. But then I look at our lives, and our littles and see how living missionally is impacting them, and God confirms our calling. He gives us what we need not a moment to late, but never as soon as I want – and I know He is just there and present with us. But during my 2 am panic sessions – for sure I question – but that’s why I hit my knees.
Does your husband sometimes embarrass you? If so, how?
Ugh – yes – by sharing something the other day in small group about my frugality that had a bunch of layers I had no idea it had attached in my heart – so he had no idea, and then I got all low – then after two days I realized – oh – it really wasn’t what he said – it’s what it brought up inside of me. Gracious.
Do you sometimes think that he doesn’t respect you? In helpful and careful terms explain why you perceive that.
Never – more than that I know he loves me. I pray he knows I respect him first – because that’s a bigger deal for men – it’s how he knows I love him. One thing I’m so grateful for is that in public we always are each others biggest cheerleaders.
If he were to be disabled mentally or physically in a severe way, do you think you can handle that?
It’s happened – it about killed us both, but with God’s grace and much prayer and a support network that held us together in our most broken – high risk pregnant with our fourth child, and just starting an orphan prayer ministry, he was diagnosed with PTSD after serving overseas in the military decades before. I thought I was going to lose my best friend, my lover and my prayer warrior. God used our most broken to establish the program we use now to coach families walking through the mess, and after surviving all of that I know we can survive anything, because we about lost everything – but we never lost our faith, our family and our marriage. Thank you LORD! What would be the most difficult aspects? READ above… it was horrible. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. But God grew in him the most prayerful, humble and obedient spirit of any man I’ve ever met.
Do you try to fix him? How? Does it work?
Nope – it wouldn’t. plus i don’t want to be fixed.
What is the biggest mistake you have made in the marriage? Why?
My security has been in our financial security – money in the bank makes me feel loved. But when God says take your life savings and pour it into a ministry for orphans and depend on me, and your hubby says OK, and you (OK ME – whine and cry and complain) it’s just not good. It’s hurt him because I know it makes him feel like He isn’t doing right by me when He is so listening to God. But I’m growing too….
Are you suffering internally in any way? What is it?
I have endometriosis – stage four – it’s degenerative and a big hot mess. It’s also tied to hormones and so that’s a lot of fun for the whole family.
Do you think your children and friends see your marriage as beautiful? Why or why not?
Yes – they do – our kids see it as secure and prayerful and we try to gross them out with PDA at least 3 times a week. Even the 2 year old goes EEEWWW – along with his siblings even though he has no idea why. Makes us laugh.
In what ways does our marriage reflect the relationship of Christ to his future bride, the church?
Complete acceptance, finds Her beautiful even in the reality and is an example of sacrifice and surrender.
Are you hopeful about the future?
Yes – but more than that I am learning to be content in my present…that’s way harder for me.
Do you focus too much attention or not enough attention on your children?
Hmmm – i’m not sure. I think people outside of us would need to answer that. We home school – which trips a lot of people out, but God told us to – so there’s that. But we also work together so the kids are being brought up in this work, which means they have to be fairly independent, and mature about things but at other times they wild out and act like – oh my word – CHILDREN! Go figure!
Is there anything about our physical love-making that you wish could be improved?
More often – – that lack of sleep and time is killing us.
Do you like the way he responds to your family?
He so loves and has embraced not just accepted or tolerated but embraced my whole family. I’m so blessed by that. What could he do to improve? Invite me to breakfast too when he goes with my dad.
Do you feel that he respects you? How could he show that better?
YES!!
Are you happy with the way you are involved in our life with other believers?
Our Small Group Community is key to our growth and sanity.
Do you have any ideas concerning your finances that need to be examined?
Yes – good grief. we need some financing – pray so hard for holy Spirit to lead donors to Ignite Hope and to invest in this kingdom work God has called us to. This is such an overwhelming step of faith. Few couples are called into full time ministry together – it is bizarre to the world at large and kind of terrifying frankly -but we’ve been doing this full out for 2 years and He’s held us together – but oh my word – pray hard!
Do you think he spends too much time or not enough time with my friends?
He needs to spend more time with his Good friends – but again time and money…mainly he works, and then works some more, and helps me with the littles. we need to refigure out our schedule.
What would be one change in his life that you most believe would be for my own good?
I’m not sure – God is changing us both a lot right now so just depending on God to reveal what changes we both need and the grace for each of us as we grow – growing pains are hard!
What do you most wish you both could do in the future to make an impact on our world for Christ?
Impact the world of Orphan Care so that no child feels unwanted, unworthy, or unloved – not matter what the trajectory of their story may be…and to support the individuals and organizations that are doing the heavy lifting of fostering, adopting and reunification. If our story is that we helped get children HOME – maybe to adoptive families, maybe into safe foster families, reunified with healthy bio families – but ultimately HOME to Jesus – then that’s the ballgame right there. That would mean everything!
Pam Hagemeyer says
Thanks so much, Jacqui! Your heart and words of wisdom are very meaningful and helpful❤️