As I mentioned in the Wound Management blog, I thought I would never marry…until I met Russ West. He was unlike any man I met during my single days. He was normal. If you spent any time in the dating arena, it can be a scary place. Normal was rare. I was fortunate we met as friends, not as a date. I felt at home with him from the moment we met. We had fun talking about EVERYthing without any concern about what each other thought. I’m incredibly grateful for our friendship because when we walk through difficult times or simply going through the motions of a busy life, I know he deeply cares about me and is my best friend. When you love somebody and you’ve made that commitment it really trumps every argument, every misunderstanding.
PROTECTING vs PREVENTING
Russ carries around this ability to make everyone feel safe. Perhaps it comes from his background or his desire to be the protector in our relationship. I honor every part of his past and he does likewise. As we’ve been intentional in helping each other heal from our pasts, we have become stronger partners for each other in the present.
In January 2016, I had an opportunity for a V.P. position with my old company I had resigned from 10 years ago. It tapped into some deep desires of wanting to be back in the corporate world but Russ had some concerns. Valid concerns. I thought it was time for some corporate marriage reorg but Russ wasn’t as excited about the new opportunity.
We had an emergency meeting with my Professional Coach and to my surprise, she agreed with Russ. I am independent enough to go against both Russ and my Coach but I knew there was wisdom in what they were sharing. After meeting with the Coach, Russ and I had some more discussions. As I watched him struggle with this opportunity, I made a decision that would stop Russ in his tracks. I told him I wouldn’t take it. Naturally, he was concerned I would resent him but I told him I was choosing to trust in what he was protecting me from vs what he was preventing me from doing.
SHOW ME…
It’s one thing to say I trust, respect and honor you but it’s another when you have an opportunity to demonstrate it. I was able to show Russ that I trust in his concerns and see him as the spiritual leader in our relationship. What surprised me is the immediate peace I had once I made the decision. I couldn’t have humanly flipped from really wanting this opportunity to not second-guessing it. I believe God gave me peace in following His will. It really rocks to be married to a man of faith. It’s not peaches and cream all the time but I love being married to my husband. For a girl who has experienced a lot of toxic relationships, meeting this guy was a gift I never allowed myself to dream for.
Have you had a chance to demonstrate what love, respect, and honor look like in your marriage? Comment below. Your comments might help a newly married couple do the same for each other.
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