TO GO OR NOT TO GO
What comes to mind when you hear about someone who goes to counseling? They must be in a crisis? Or they are weak and can’t solve their own problems. Or if a husband is going it must be really bad because typically men resist sharing their feelings. What is the stigma about going to counseling? From my (Danielle) perspective, our parent’s generation felt it was better to pretend to be strong than face the shame of going to a counselor. I have to admit, when I did start seeing a counselor, I kept it quiet. It was my husband who didn’t mind sharing he attended counseling. This would later prove to be a great witness to family and friends.
BREAK THE CHAINS
Counseling became so much more than “discussing your feelings.” It became more about understanding the impact the past has on your present relationships. Once I saw the incredible patterns and learned how to break the chains of unhealthy patterns, life shifted for me and my husband in a positive way. My husband and I started with pre-marital counseling and never stopped. We’ve been going almost monthly for the past 17 years. Our counselor is more like a life coach. Isn’t it interesting we will seek out Financial Advisors, Business Coaches, Personal Trainers but when it comes to one of the most important relationships in our life, we go it alone. Why?
BE PROACTIVE
One of the major benefits of seeing a counselor in a proactive consistent manner is when a crisis arises, you are not starting at the beginning. Hi, my name is… Introducing yourself to a stranger, even a professional stranger takes time in getting to know one another. Invest the time now so that when you’re in a crisis you’re able to spend time on the crisis at hand, not the history of your past.
LIFE LESSONS
Ideally, families would teach these life lessons but as you and I know, there are some tools families are not equipped to model. Not because they are bad families but because it wasn’t modeled for them. What is the difference between learning courses in school by certified teachers and learning life lessons with a qualified counselor? Let’s break the chains of limiting our life lessons and extend our education to include the wisdom of professionals as we do with so many other areas of our lives.
I WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU
Do you go to counseling? If so, what is your motivation? If not, what stops you from making this a proactive step in your life? Comment below.
Over the span of many years I have gone to various individual and couples counselors. Some were pretty good and others were outstanding. It may take time to find the counselor that fits your needs best, but I can say with all confidence that a counselor who is “pretty good” is infinitely better than none at all. My advice is to ask around and find out who other people have seen and gotten benefit from.
Tracey, thanks for sharing your experience with counseling! You are correct…it’s incredibly helpful when you have chemistry of trust and vulnerability when seeking out a therapist.